Of Birthdays
by JenCala28
Summary: Four very different birthdays throughout Sirius' life. A drabble that turned into quite a bit more celebrating Sirius' birthday.


Sirius had always hated his birthday.

Birthdays in the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black were formal affairs—excuses for the pureblood sycophants to flaunt their wealth, and for Sirius's parents to showcase their heir. It was never a celebration for _Sirius,_ and any presents he received were never things he actually wanted but instead expensive trinkets that no child could possibly desire.

When his twelfth birthday at Hogwarts came, he was simply happy to not have to deal with another family gathering. Resolved to let the day pass by unacknowledged, he was startled awake by a much-too-jovial James jumping on top of him, screaming "Happy Birthday, you great git," and flinging a badly wrapped present at him.

Sirius sat up, blinked the sleep from his eyes, and smiled at his new friend. He made room as Peter sat next to him, thrusting another present in his hands. Looking up, he saw Remus—rumpled and sitting hesitantly at the edge of his bed, giving him a sleep-soft smile.

"Happy Birthday, Sirius."

Remus handed him a wrapped gift, and he grinned, elated over the fact that his friends had remembered his birthday — which they must have figured out on their own, because it was not information Sirius willingly gave away.

Sirius hastily tore open the packages, exclaiming happily over the gifts. The assortment of Honeydukes sweets from Peter, the packet of dungbombs and magical firecrackers from James, and the newest edition of _Quidditch Through the Ages_ from Remus; these were presents chosen with _him_ in mind, the real Sirius, not the pureblood scion.

His joy was infectious, and he could not help tackling his mates in a fierce hug that they returned. If any of them saw the tears lurking in his eyes, they said nothing.

ooOOoo

During seventh year, Sirius was awoken by warm hands on his skin and soft lips whispering indecent things. He smiled, eyes still closed, revelling in the love his Moony was bestowing upon him.

He finally opened his eyes when slender fingers wrapped around his cock, already achingly hard and dripping from his lover's ministrations. Stormy eyes met amber, and Remus' smirk and soft "Happy Birthday, Pads" before he engulfed Sirius' length in the wet heat of his mouth were the best birthday present he could have ever hoped for.

Fingers tangling in Remus' tawny curls, Sirius' hips jerked of their own accord as his cock was swallowed to the root only for Remus to lave his way back up the length, swirling his tongue and dipping it into the slit.

Sirius shuddered, his body fevered and aching for more. He pushed Remus back and pulled him up, their lips meeting in a bruising kiss. His hand sought and found his lover's thick cock, pumping it slowly.

With breathless urgency, Sirius whispered, "Fuck me" against Remus' lips.

Remus did not hesitate as he dragged his mouth from Sirius', nipping and sucking at the taught cordons of his neck whilst fumbling for the jar of lube on the bedside table.

Grinning in anticipation as he felt a familiar, slick finger circle his entrance, Sirius moaned into Remus' mouth when the digit pushed inside of him.. He gripped Remus' shoulders, devouring his mouth as he felt another finger join the first, slowly stretching him. When a third finger was added, angled against his prostate, Sirius bit down on Remus' bottom lip and groaned his request once more. "Fuck me. _Now_."

Remus slowly withdrew his fingers, wiping them on the bedspread before slicking his own prick with more lube. The cocky grin on his face was coupled with the lust-filled gaze as he stared down at Sirius. His hand sliding up and down his thick length made Sirius' blood hum in his veins.

Rubbing the head of his cock against Sirius' opening, teasing them both, Remus pressed the head in slightly only to pull it out again and repeat the motion.

Sirius could not take the breathless anticipation anymore, and he wrapped his legs firmly around Remus' waist, his heels digging into Remus' arse, urging him forward.

Remus' answering grin turned into an open-mouthed moan as he slowly sank into Sirius.

They both stilled for a moment—Sirius adjusting to the incredible sense of fullness of Remus seated so deeply inside him, revelling in the feeling of being so incredibly joined.

"Fuck, Pads," Remus said as he began to move his hips slowly, building a rhythm that Sirius matched stroke for delicious stroke. Remus swivelled his hips, his cock dragging against Sirius' prostate with every slide, and Sirius slid his eyes shut in ecstasy.

"Look at me."

Wrenching his eyes open, Sirius' lust-addled brain took in the hypnotic sight of his boyfriend, breathless with need as he surged into Sirius' body over and over again. Biting his lip, Sirius clutched at Remus' powerful shoulders with one hand while reaching for his own cock, dripping and aching with his own need, pumping it in time with Remus' thrusts.

He was light-headed with pleasure, the fire pooling low in his abdomen as every sense was inflamed and focused on Remus inside him, all around him.

Remus sped up his movements, slamming his cock ruthlessly into Sirius, stoking the fire with every sliding thrust.

"Come for me."

The husky command was all it took for Sirius to feel the coil snap, trapped in Remus' possessive gaze as his climax was wrenched from him, spilling all over his fist and stomach.

Remus' hips stuttered as his own orgasm was milked from him by Sirius' convulsing body, biting his lip from crying out from the force of it. Spent, he collapsed on Sirius' chest, their ragged breaths as they came down from their mutual high the only sounds that could be distinguished.

Remus slowly pulled out, rolled himself to his side, and pulled Sirius in tight against him.

Sirius turned to meet his lover's lips in a searing kiss, before sliding down with a contented sigh to rest his head against Remus' chest.

"I love you, Pads. Happy birthday," Remus whispered, his fingers toying with Sirius' hair.

Sirius smiled against Remus' skin, tracing his name with his fingers as if to mark him. "I love you too."

ooOOoo

Sirius always thought his worst birthdays had been spent at Grimmauld Place, surrounded by the family that was supposed to love him but instead hated him for everything he was and everything he _wasn't_.

He was wrong.

The worst birthday was his first spent in Azkaban, three days after his best friend, _his brother_ , was cruelly murdered. _Two_ of his best friends—his _family_ —dead at the hands of their friend-turned-traitor; _the filthy rat_.

Sirius felt the guilt well up and threaten to bubble over again in endless screams. His despair and agonising guilt had raged inside until it all came out at once. He pounded against the walls of his stone cell, hands bloodied and throat raw from screaming his gut-wrenching misery.

He had spent the first two days in his prison raging until he had nothing left.

Now, he felt the guilt eating him up inside but could do nothing more than rock in the corner of his cell. Huddled on the floor, he pressed his face against his knees, tears silently sliding into the thin prison robes.

He should have known it was Wormtail, the spineless coward. He should have been there to help James fight Voldemort. He should have taken him, Lily, and Harry and run.

 _Harry_. All that was left of his best friends. Sirius had no idea where Harry was or who he was with now. What kind of godfather _was_ he? How could he have let his boy down so horribly?

He should never have let the thought cross his mind that _Moony_ could possibly be the traitor. That was where it had all started to go so terribly wrong.

 _Remus_.

Merlin, his heart ached at the thought of Remus all alone now, thinking that Sirius had turned on them all, had been responsible for the deaths of those he loved. He could barely stand the pain of it, and only the insane screams from the cell next door pulled him from the downward spiral of his thoughts.

Looking up at the tiny window in the corner of his cell, he could see the sliver of moon providing the only light in his personal prison. His chest constricted as he realised it was his birthday. He and James had planned to spend it teaching Harry how to fly his little broom a bit higher in the garden of the safe house. Now, he was spending it rotting in a prison cell while James was below ground, cold in his grave.

Sirius buried his head in his knees again, rocking slowly as memories of his friends singing the birthday song to him drifted through his mind.

ooOOoo

The scent of rich coffee pulled Sirius from his dreams.

He opened his eyes and immediately turned to the side to see the now-empty spot Remus had occupied the night before in his bed.

Fighting down a wave of panic, he reminded himself that the smell of coffee meant that Remus was in simply in the kitchen and he was not alone. Since Dumbledore had ordered him to lie low, he and Remus had been using the time and privacy to slowly mend their relationship—talking, occasionally raging, and fucking their way back through the thirteen years that had been stolen from them.

Despite the fierce joy he felt at finally being physically close to the love of his life, sometimes Sirius felt the chasm between them was too filled with regrets, half-truths, and accusations to ever fully bridge.

Slowly getting up, Sirius pulled the t-shirt he'd tossed carelessly on the floor the previous night over his head and went searching for Moony. He found him in the kitchen, standing at the cooker with his back to Sirius. Remus turned, likely sensing Sirius there. He smiled softly, setting a plate down at the tiny kitchen table.

Walking over to Sirius, Remus rested a hand against his still-too-thin cheek, and Sirius could not help but lean into the warmth, his eyes drifting shut at the touch.

"I made you breakfast."

Sirius managed a smile at the love and concern he saw reflected in Remus' eyes when he opened his own. "Thank you."

They sat down and tucked into the rashers, eggs, and toast. Sirius still marvelled at the taste of real food and the delicious richness of coffee after so many years surviving on prison scraps.

They were mostly silent as they ate, but when they finished their meal and sipped at their coffee, Remus reached over and gripped Sirius' hand. "Happy Birthday."

Sirius' eyes widened in surprise. "Is it?"

He took in the hesitant smile on the scarred face he loved so dearly. The grey threaded through the tawny curls and the years of hard living showed on Remus' face and body, but Sirius had never thought him more beautiful than he was at that moment.

There were overwhelming odds stacked against them, a looming war, years of distrust, and the agony that still lurked in both of their hearts at the loss of their friends. But he knew he loved Remus as much now, if not more, than when they were young, carefree, and happy. He would fight tooth and nail for a future for them—for Harry, and for James' and Lily's memories. Hope blossomed in his chest at the thought.

He squeezed Remus' hand and smiled. "It _is_ a happy birthday."

Notes: Thank you to my amazing beta and friend Shayalonnie for making my words infinitely better and always encouraging me. Comments and kudos are pure love and keep my fragile writer's ego thriving, so thank you! Follow me on Tumblr at JenCala 


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